When we were little, my brother and I would peek over the top of our couch and out the window to watch the garbage pickers who came under cover of darkness. With their Sanford & Sons pick up trucks they'd dig through what other people no longer wanted searching for gold like prospectors in the Yukon Territory. They'd dig through piles looking for whatever they thought was cool and could bring in a few extra bucks.
This pas month, I saw trucks passing each other in broad daylight, looking just like the trucks from before but this time the guys were different. Younger guys who didn't care who saw them or who was around they'd have to fight for an old lamp. They weren't looking for the odd little treasure, they were looking for anything they could sell and screw the rest. Is that what's happened to our society?
Monday, April 28, 2008
Friday, April 18, 2008
A New Baby
It is with great pleasure that I announce a new branch to our family tree. Last week my cousin Jeff welcomed his 3rd son, Trent Jeffrey into the world. At 20" in lenght and 8lbs 9oz he was no small thing but we love him just the same.
WELCOME TRENT!!!
Protect your family now!
http://www.familywatchdog.us/search.asp
When you visit this site you can enter your address and a map will pop up with your house as a small icon of a house. There will be red, blue and green dots surrounding your entire neighborhood. When you click on these dots a picture of a criminal will appear with his or her home address and the description of the crime he or she has committed.The best thing is that you can show your children these pictures and see how close these people live to your home or school.
When you visit this site you can enter your address and a map will pop up with your house as a small icon of a house. There will be red, blue and green dots surrounding your entire neighborhood. When you click on these dots a picture of a criminal will appear with his or her home address and the description of the crime he or she has committed.The best thing is that you can show your children these pictures and see how close these people live to your home or school.
What it means to be Irish..
In celebration of the 17th.....here is a good chuckle for you........
What Being Irish Means
You will never play professional basketball.
You swear very well.
At least one of your cousins holds political office.
You think you sing very well.
You have no idea how to make a long story short.
You are very good at playing a lot of very bad golf.
There isn't a huge difference between losing your temper and killing someone.
Much of your food was boiled.
You have never hit your head on the ceiling.
You spent a good portion of your childhood kneeling.
You're strangely poetic after a few beers.
You're, therefore, poetic a lot.
You will be punched for no good reason...a lot.
Some punches directed at you are legacies from past generations.
Your sister will punch you because your brother punched her.
Many of your sisters are Catherine, Elizabeth or Mary....and one is Mary Catherine Elizabeth.
Someone in your family is incredibly cheap. It is more than likely you.
You don't know the words, but that doesn't stop you from singing.
You can't wait for the other guy to stop talking so you can start talking.
"Irish Stew" is the euphemism for "boiled leftovers from the fridge".
You're not nearly as funny as you think you are, but what you lack in talent, you make up for in frequency.
There wasn't a huge difference between your last wake and your last keg party.
You are, or know someone, named "Murph".
If you don't know Murph, then you know Mac, if you don't know Murph or
Mac, then you know Sully, and you'll probably also know Sully McMurphy.
You are genetically incapable of keeping a secret.
Your parents were on a first name basis with everyone at the local emergency room.
And last but not least... Being Irish means... your attention span is so short that oh, forget it!
What Being Irish Means
You will never play professional basketball.
You swear very well.
At least one of your cousins holds political office.
You think you sing very well.
You have no idea how to make a long story short.
You are very good at playing a lot of very bad golf.
There isn't a huge difference between losing your temper and killing someone.
Much of your food was boiled.
You have never hit your head on the ceiling.
You spent a good portion of your childhood kneeling.
You're strangely poetic after a few beers.
You're, therefore, poetic a lot.
You will be punched for no good reason...a lot.
Some punches directed at you are legacies from past generations.
Your sister will punch you because your brother punched her.
Many of your sisters are Catherine, Elizabeth or Mary....and one is Mary Catherine Elizabeth.
Someone in your family is incredibly cheap. It is more than likely you.
You don't know the words, but that doesn't stop you from singing.
You can't wait for the other guy to stop talking so you can start talking.
"Irish Stew" is the euphemism for "boiled leftovers from the fridge".
You're not nearly as funny as you think you are, but what you lack in talent, you make up for in frequency.
There wasn't a huge difference between your last wake and your last keg party.
You are, or know someone, named "Murph".
If you don't know Murph, then you know Mac, if you don't know Murph or
Mac, then you know Sully, and you'll probably also know Sully McMurphy.
You are genetically incapable of keeping a secret.
Your parents were on a first name basis with everyone at the local emergency room.
And last but not least... Being Irish means... your attention span is so short that oh, forget it!
So I'm a little late...
Ok, I'm a little late with these but oh well. Here's a picture or two from St. Patrick's Day. We started out by agreeing to bring in small things for making sandwich's and it blossomed into a FEAST!!! Happy Belated St. Patrick's Day!
How can you not laugh at this???
THIS EMAIL IS SO FUNNY..........HOPE YOU ENJOY AS I DID..........A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested. The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself. The man replied, 'Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition.She sat down under a sign that said,'The Double Mint Twins are Com in' and I grinned.' Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, 'Logan's Liniment Will Reduce The Swelling', and I had to smile. 'Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said,'William's Big Stick Did the Trick', and I could hardly contain myself.' 'BUT, your Honor, when She moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, 'Goodyear ! Rubber could have prevented this Accident'... I just Lost it. CASE DISMISSED!!'Now keep that smile on your face and pass it on to someone else.
Eco Friendly Cards
I wouldn't mind ordering a few of these myself.
http://www.ethicalsuperstore.com/category/cards-and-stationery/cards/?sort=1d&limit=80&page=2
http://www.ethicalsuperstore.com/category/cards-and-stationery/cards/?sort=1d&limit=80&page=2
Joke For You
The Hypnotist at the Senior Center
As Claude went to the front of the meeting room, he announced,'Unlike most hypnotists who invite two or three people up here to be putinto a trance,I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience.'
The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antiquepocket watch from his coat.
'I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch.It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for sixgenerations.'
He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting,'Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch ..'
The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, lightgleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swayingwatch, until, suddenly, it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell tothe floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.
'Shit,' said the Hypnotist.
It took three days to clean up the center.
As Claude went to the front of the meeting room, he announced,'Unlike most hypnotists who invite two or three people up here to be putinto a trance,I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience.'
The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antiquepocket watch from his coat.
'I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch.It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for sixgenerations.'
He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting,'Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch ..'
The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, lightgleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swayingwatch, until, suddenly, it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell tothe floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.
'Shit,' said the Hypnotist.
It took three days to clean up the center.
Monday, April 07, 2008
Check out what dad's up to!!
Check out this Webpage!
http://www.stbaldricks.org/referral.html?Ref=L3BhcnRpY2lwYW50cy9zaGF2ZWVfaW5mby5odG1sP1BhcnRpY2lwYW50S2V5PTIwMDgtNDk1MDU=
Hey gang! Cough up some dough or no more Monkey Bread! Dad
Don
http://www.stbaldricks.org/referral.html?Ref=L3BhcnRpY2lwYW50cy9zaGF2ZWVfaW5mby5odG1sP1BhcnRpY2lwYW50S2V5PTIwMDgtNDk1MDU=
Hey gang! Cough up some dough or no more Monkey Bread! Dad
Don
We should all think like this..
The Mayonnaise Jar and 2 Cups Of CoffeeWhen things in your life seemalmost too much to handle,when 24 Hours in a day is not enough,remember the mayonnaise jarand 2 cups of coffee.
A professor stood before his philosophy classand had some items in front of him.When the class began, wordlessly,he picked up a very largeand empty mayonnaise jarand proceeded to fill it with golf balls.He then asked the studentsif the jar was full.They agreed that it was.The professor then picked up a box of pebblesand poured them into the jar.He shook the jar lightly.The pebbles rolled into the openareas between the golf balls.He then askedthe students againif the jar was full..They agreed it was.The professor next picked up a box of sandand poured it into the jar.Of course, the sand f illed up everything else.He asked once more if the jar was full.The students respondedwith an unanimous'yes.'The professor then producedtwo cups of coffee from under the tableAnd poured the entire contentsinto the jar, effectivelyfilling the empty space between the sand.The students laughed.'Now,' said the professor,as the laughter subsided,'I want you to recognize thatthis jar represents your life.The golf balls are the important things -God, family, children, health,friends, and Favorite passions --things that if everything else was lostand only they remained,your life would still be full.The pebbles are the other things that matterlike your job, house, and car.The sand is everything else --the small stuff.'If you put the sand into the jar first,'he continued,'there is no room forthe pebbles or the golf balls.The same goes for life.If you spend all your timeand energy on the small stuff,you will never have room forthe things that areimportant to you.So...Pay attention to the thingsthat are critical to your happiness.Play With your children.Take time to get medical checkups.Take your partner out to dinner.Play another 18.There will always be timeto clean the houseand fix the disposal.'Take care of the golf balls first --the things that really matter.Set your priorities.The rest is just sand.'One of the students raised her handand inquired what the coffee represented.The professor smiled.'I'm glad you asked '.It just goes to show you that no matter how fullyour life may seem, there's always room fora couple of cups of coffee with a friend.'
A professor stood before his philosophy classand had some items in front of him.When the class began, wordlessly,he picked up a very largeand empty mayonnaise jarand proceeded to fill it with golf balls.He then asked the studentsif the jar was full.They agreed that it was.The professor then picked up a box of pebblesand poured them into the jar.He shook the jar lightly.The pebbles rolled into the openareas between the golf balls.He then askedthe students againif the jar was full..They agreed it was.The professor next picked up a box of sandand poured it into the jar.Of course, the sand f illed up everything else.He asked once more if the jar was full.The students respondedwith an unanimous'yes.'The professor then producedtwo cups of coffee from under the tableAnd poured the entire contentsinto the jar, effectivelyfilling the empty space between the sand.The students laughed.'Now,' said the professor,as the laughter subsided,'I want you to recognize thatthis jar represents your life.The golf balls are the important things -God, family, children, health,friends, and Favorite passions --things that if everything else was lostand only they remained,your life would still be full.The pebbles are the other things that matterlike your job, house, and car.The sand is everything else --the small stuff.'If you put the sand into the jar first,'he continued,'there is no room forthe pebbles or the golf balls.The same goes for life.If you spend all your timeand energy on the small stuff,you will never have room forthe things that areimportant to you.So...Pay attention to the thingsthat are critical to your happiness.Play With your children.Take time to get medical checkups.Take your partner out to dinner.Play another 18.There will always be timeto clean the houseand fix the disposal.'Take care of the golf balls first --the things that really matter.Set your priorities.The rest is just sand.'One of the students raised her handand inquired what the coffee represented.The professor smiled.'I'm glad you asked '.It just goes to show you that no matter how fullyour life may seem, there's always room fora couple of cups of coffee with a friend.'
What to do with your tax rebate...
Tax Rebate InformationAs you may have heard the Bush Administration said each one of us wouldnow get a nice rebate to help stimulate the economy.
If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China.
If we spend it on gasoline it will all go to the Arabs, and neither willhelp the American economy.
We need to keep that money here in America, so the only way to keepthat money here at home is to buy beer or spend it on prostitution, sincethose are the only businesses still in the U.S.My name is Eliot Spitzer, and I approved this advertisement.
If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China.
If we spend it on gasoline it will all go to the Arabs, and neither willhelp the American economy.
We need to keep that money here in America, so the only way to keepthat money here at home is to buy beer or spend it on prostitution, sincethose are the only businesses still in the U.S.My name is Eliot Spitzer, and I approved this advertisement.
Frozen in NYC - Way cool!!!
Check out this video I got from my cousin Corrie. It's awesome! I'd love to be a part of this!!! http://www.maniacworld.com/frozen-in-grand-central-station.html
School in 1957 vs 2007
SCHOOL -- 1957 vs. 2007Scenario :
Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
195 7 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2007 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counsellors called in for traumatized students and teachers.
Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2007 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.
Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.
1957 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2007 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.
Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbour's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.
Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school .
1957 - Mark shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock.
2007 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.
Scenario : Pedro fails high school English.
1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English. Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecracke rs from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane pain t bottle, blows up a red ant bed.
1957 - Ants die.
2007 - BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.
Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy
Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
195 7 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2007 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counsellors called in for traumatized students and teachers.
Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2007 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.
Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.
1957 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2007 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.
Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbour's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.
Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school .
1957 - Mark shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock.
2007 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.
Scenario : Pedro fails high school English.
1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English. Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecracke rs from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane pain t bottle, blows up a red ant bed.
1957 - Ants die.
2007 - BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.
Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy
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