Monday, March 10, 2008

Sex in the City


I just love the series Sex in the City... and what city girl doesn't? I'm so excited about the moving come out in May I can hardly stand it. I'm thinking my girlfriends and I should go. I like to think of us as the girls from the show, even though we look nothing like them and there's more than 4 of us! If I had to assign characters we'd definatly double up but I guess I'm the Carrie of the group. I like to put my thoughts in print, I love good fashion, have rotten luck with men and am a total shoe devotee. While I'd love Charlotte's money, Samantha's sex drive or even Miranda's brains, I'm happy being the Carrie. I won't assign characters here but my girls can guess who they each most resemble. The best part is that we can all count on each other no matter what, we've been there through thick & thin and have no intention of doing anything other wise. Come husbands, children or blisters... we're quite a pack.

Poor Patrick


Being a child of the 80's I've always loved the movie Dirty Dancing. How can you not? True love conquers all with great costumes and dance moves my mother tried to shield my eyes from. lol But now I want to be serious and offer my most heartfelt Best Wishes to Mr. Patrick Swayze in his recent battle with cancer. Here's hoping you feel better and are in remission soon!!!!!

What can I say but "Oh wow."


SPRINGFIELD, Oregon (AP) -- For guys who park in front of the TV during college basketball's March Madness, the Oregon Urology Institute has a suggestion: Why not use that time to recover from a vasectomy?

Need an excuse to stay home and watch March Madness? An Oregon clinic suggests a vasectomy.

"When March Madness approaches you need an excuse ... to stay at home in front of the big screen," the clinic's radio ad says. "Get your vasectomy at Oregon Urology Institute the day before the tournament starts. It's snip city."
Institute Administrator Terry FitzPatrick said men need two to four days to recover from the procedure -- but not all take the time.
He's reserved a dozen appointment slots for March 19, the day before the first tipoffs of the NCAA Tournament, and another dozen for March 26, before the tournament's second week.
He reported filling 15 slots by Thursday afternoon and expects to fill all 24.
Health Library
MayoClinic.com: Vasectomy
The sports radio station broadcasting the clinic's ads promises to send each patient a recovery kit of sports magazines, free pizza delivery and a bag of frozen peas.
Peas?
"The frozen peas are malleable enough that you can get them right in there and get the swelling down," FitzPatrick said. E-mail to a friend

Giggle blip

I've been putting a new new posts up tonight - as you can see - and after I'm done I take a look to see how it's laid out. I just have to smile and my blog, it's so girlie and so me looking!

Yet More Rules


I'm not saying there's anything wrong with being catholic, I went to catholic schools as a kid; but man have they got some rules! I agree with not killing and not stealing and all that but in an effort to adapt to the times, the pope's sent out a new list of sins. The old ones didn't cover it all? We need to be more specific? I find this rather disturbing.
~J
ROME, Italy (AP) -- A Vatican official has listed drugs, pollution and genetic manipulations as well as social and economic injustices as new areas of sinful behavior.

The Vatican has updated the list of mortal sins to relate to the age of globalization.

Monsignor Gianfranco Girotti said in an interview published on Sunday by the Vatican's daily newspaper, L'Osservatore Romano, that known sins increasingly manifest themselves as behavior that damages society as a whole.
Girotti, who heads the Apostolic Penitentiary, a Vatican body that issues decisions on matters of conscience and grants absolutions told the paper that whilst sin used to concern the individual mostly, today it had a mainly a social resonance, due to the phenomenon of globalization.
Catholic teaching distinguishes between lesser, so-called venial sins, and mortal sins.
When asked to list the new areas of sinful behavior, Girotti denounced "certain violations of the fundamental rights of human nature through experiments, genetic manipulations."
He also mentioned drugs, which weaken the mind and obscure intelligence; pollution; as well as the widening social and economic differences between the rich and the poor that "cause an unbearable social injustice."
Girotti said the Catholic Church continued to be concerned by other sinful acts, including abortion and pedophilia.
He said Church authorities had reacted with rigorous measures to child abuse scandals within the clergy, but he also claimed that the issue had been excessively emphasized by the media.
His comments came at the end of a week-long Vatican conference on confession.
A recent survey said that 60 percent of Italian Catholics do not go to confession.
Traditionally the Catholic church has had a list of seven deadly sins, that of lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy, and pride established by Pope Gregory the Great in the 6th century.
The terms entered the popular vocabulary after the publication of Dante's "Divine Comedy."
The deadly sins are in contrast with venial sins - relatively minor sins that can be forgiven.
A person that commits a mortal sin risks burning in hell unless absolved through confession and penitence.
Now the Vatican says it is time to modernize the list to fit a global world.
On hearing the Girotti's suggestion, some priests thought it was a good idea.
Father Antonio Pelayo, a Spanish priest and Vatican expert noted that it is time for both sinners and confessors to get over their obsession with sex and think about other ways humans hurt each other in the world in which they live.
"There are many other sins that are perhaps much more grave that don't have anything to do with sex - that have to do with life, that have to do with the environment, that have to do with justice," he told AP Television.
Father Greg Apparcel, a local priest said that the Pope may have been talking About this aspect of sin as a response to the recent "Italian confession" survey.
Apparcel also hinted that the announcement may have a wider agenda ahead of the Holy Father's trip to the United States and his speech to the United Nations.
"There is some sound going around that perhaps he is going to speak about ecology and environment, and if he does, this is kind of preparation for that," he said.

Snowplows in Buffalo


Since about Wednesday, all of the news channels (2,4 & 7) have been talking about the upcoming snow storm. So my question is, where were the plows? The storm that was supposed to start on Friday night at 8:00 actually started on Friday morning. I know because we all watched out the windows at work as the morning commute looked like something taking place in a snowglobe. By the time we left the office we had snow that was ankle deep...... but no plows. When I woke up Saturday my porch was 1/2 gone and the plows were still a no-show. Thinking we just hadn't had our own street plowed, we headed off the the Bandits game to celebrate Kari's birthday.... downtown wasn't much better. Did the plows drive through here? Sunday brought more snow but still no plows..... See a theme? Finally, at 12:30 a.m. Monday morning, we got plowed. Well, let me correct myself. A snow plow went down our street. Heck, even a salt truck went down our street. Yet tonight as I drove up to Rite Aid to get my perscription and then to Target to get trouser socks for mom, the roads were no clearer. People were parked on both sides of the street and couldn't get along the curb. Now that we've narrowed the road with cars on both sides and snow that should have been plowed I now add one more element. The oversided truck. I'm all for bigger & better (just look at my thighs lol) but are they needed? Buffalo is an old city with narrow streets that can't accomodate these guys in weather like this. Before I get off on yet another rant, let me return to my original question. Where were the plows?

The "Teflon Kid" Slips


Now, I like dear Eliot Spitzer and I don't think he should have to leave office but I was sure shocked as hell to hear this when I left my weekly staff meeting this afternoon.

~J




(CNN) -- New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer is under investigation for allegedly meeting with a prostitute in a Washington hotel, two sources with knowledge of the investigation told CNN.

Gov. Eliot Spitzer, with his wife, Silda, by his side, apologizes to his family and to the public.

One of the sources said Spitzer is identified in a criminal complaint as "Client-9," and that Spitzer's alleged involvement was caught on a federal wiretap.
The governor's statement came four days after federal prosecutors in New York announced charges against four people accused of running an international prostitution and money-laundering ring that catered to big spenders.
According to prosecutors, Emperors Club VIP charged between $1,000 and $5,500 an hour and operated in New York; Los Angeles, California; Miami, Florida; London, England; and Paris, France.
Don't Miss
Read the criminal complaint (PDF)
The criminal complaint about the ring did not name any customers, but authorities intercepted text messages, e-mails and telephone calls.
On Monday, Spitzer apologized to his family and to the public for an undisclosed personal matter. "I have acted in a way that violates my obligations to my family, that violates my or any sense of right and wrong," he said, as his wife, Silda Wall Spitzer, stood by his side.
"I am disappointed that I failed to live up to the standard I expected of myself," he said. "I must now dedicate some time to regain the trust of my family." Watch Spitzer's apology »
Spitzer facts
Time magazine names Spitzer "Crusader of the Year" during his two terms as New York attorney general.
Tabloids label him "Eliot Ness," because of his reputation for rooting out corruption, busting white-collar criminals and tackling organized crime.
Spitzer is known for prosecuting several prostitution rings.
He attended Princeton and Harvard, then became an assistant district attorney in Manhattan.
He worked for three New York law firms and decided to run in his mid-30s for attorney general.
The first-term Democrat had been considered a rising star in his party.
Spitzer is married and has three daughters.
His statement came after a New York Times report based on a single unnamed administration official who said the governor had informed his staff he had been involved in a prostitution ring.
Spitzer did not address or deny the report, and he did not take questions.
Federal authorities are investigating allegations Spitzer met with a prostitute in a Washington hotel, a senior source with knowledge of the investigation told CNN.
Before the news conference, three Democratic sources -- one in New York's capital, Albany, one in New York, and one in Washington -- told CNN a top Spitzer aide had told them the governor would resign.
"The governor called his senior staff together and told them he wanted to inform them first about a major announcement of a personal nature," a prominent New York Democrat told CNN.
"To say this is a shock is an understatement," said CNN senior legal analyst Jeffrey Toobin, who went to law school with Spitzer.
Toobin called Spitzer, "the straightest arrow I know."
The Republican Governors Association has called on Spitzer to resign to "allow the people of New York to pursue honest leadership."
"The American people are tired of corrupt and hypocritical politicians. The governor of New York is just another in the long list of politicians that have failed their constituents," Nick Ayers, RGA executive director, said in a statement.
Spitzer's office, the U.S. Attorney's office in New York and New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg all declined to comment on Spitzer.
Spitzer, 48, served as New York's attorney general for eight years before being elected governor. E-mail to a friend
CNN's Kelli Arena and John King contributed to this report.

Saturday, March 08, 2008

Community In Crisis

As we near March 31st, the major thing on everyone's mind isn't charity. Did I pay my bills on time? Am I getting a tax refund? What if I have to pay this year? Can the gas prices go any higher or the price of anything for that matter?

Well, we can't deny that things are getting more expensive and our paychecks are growing to match that need; my own included. Maybe it's just the way my parents raised me but I know that I'm not the only one going through a rough time financially. If I'm not the only one that means family, friends and neighbors are in the same boat and I can't over look that.

I'm asking you, my loyal readers- or readers at all - to take a minute to go to www.uwbec.org and make a contribution. It doesn't have to be much, anything at all will help. We need to get to $15.4 million in order to operate the way we have been this past year. I don't mean giving it to administrative costs but to fund the programs that we or someone we know are using. To keep mom and dad active at a senior day program, a place for Susie and Sam to go to after school. No parent can afford to stay home with their children anymore, no matter how much we want to. Instead we are forced to put our children into the care of others at day care centers we're not 100% sure about. A contribution to United Way will help keep the Success by 6 program running which helps to get day care centers up to speed so we don't have to worry about our children while we're at work. That in and of itself is a 10 lb weight off our mind.

I could go on and on about the good work United Way does but why take attention away from the website done by professionals. Take a look around and see some of the statistics. If it doesn't make you want to help then I can't force you. Just remember that it's not just ill deeds that come back three fold..... it's good deeds to.

Buffalo, the city of good neighbors.

Georgia Grannies

Lawyers should never ask a Georgia grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?'

She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'

She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,
If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.

Marketing Master

My cousin Corrie sent me this website and I loved this mini marketing quiz. While I only scored 15 of 20 - leaving me a Savvy marketing person - had I read I'm sure I'd have done better. Take the quiz and let me know how you do!

http://www.cramersweeney.com/smartmarketing.html

Monday, March 03, 2008

Jen's 24!!!!


Jen Y turned 24 today and we couldn't let the event jog on by. Oh no! In honor of her love of running, Renita & I made this great running cake complete with 2 kinds of cake, 5 kinds of color and 4 layers. Yup, I think we crossed the finish line with this one! LOL
Happy Birthday!!!!

Men in Maxi Pad Marketing is a BAAAADDD Idea

This is an ACTUAL letter from an Austin woman sent to Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph.

Dear Mr. Thatcher:
I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi-pads for over 20 years, and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the Leak-Guard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flex-Wings.Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi-pads be aerodynamic. I can' t tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants. Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from the curse? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call an inbred hillbilly with knife skills. Isn't the human body amazing? As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customersT monthly visits from Aunt Flo. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants...which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words, Have a Happy Period. Are you fu**ing kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness " actual smiling, laughing happiness is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well¦did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything happy about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory. For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi-pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like Put Down the Hammer or Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong, or are you just picking on us? Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bull sh*t. And that's a promise I will keep.Always.
Best, Wendi AaronsAustin, TX
PC Magazine's 2007 editors' choice for best Webmail-award-winning letter.

Golf Accident

Two women were playing golf one day, when one of them watched in horrorasher tee shot headed directly toward a foursome of men who were playingthenext hole.
The ball hit one of the men.
He immediately clasped his handstogether at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.
The woman rushed down to the man, andimmediately began to apologize.
'Please allow me to help. I'm aPhysicalTherapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me,' she told him.
'Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll befine in a few minutes,' the man replied.
He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands together at his groin. At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help.
She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside.
She administered a tender and artful massage for several longmoments and asked, 'How does that feel'?
He replied: 'It feels great,but Istill think my thumb's broken.'

New Fast Food