Pretty Smart Cowboy

What's Under My HatMonte TuckerJanuary 28, 2008Howdy friends and neighbors. Come on first Tuesday in November! I havealready had about all of the Presidential election I can stand. Surely,somewhere out there in this great nation is a "good ol' boy or gal," that isworth voting for. You know, someone that has actually done something, notjust talked about what they think they have done. It's only the firstquarter in the game between the R's and the D's. Both sides keep talkingabout time for change.

Just what are they going to change? They obviously haven't changed the game of politics. Billary and Bama Lama Ding Dong boost the word "change" every time I see the media put their face on my boob tube. The first place they could start changing things would be on the Senate floor that they're already on. Just go and look at their voting records for the last several months and you will find they aren't showing up to vote. You know, the job they campaigned so hard to get by promising "change," but they just don't have the time. McCain isn't immune from this either.Let's talk "change." What in the world do these hot air compressors thinkthey are going to change and why? Again, I'm just a professional bovinerelocation specialist (it's the 21st century, we used to call them cowboys).But the way I see it from Sunny Point , Oklahoma , how are they going tochange the greatest nation in the world? All of the candidates aredemanding we must change! OK. I wake up a free man every morning and I'mfree to do anything that is morally right or I can do nothing. If I chooseto do something productive that day, well I can whistle at my dog, start upmy ol' tan feed truck that I bought with the help of a free enterprisingbanking system I chose to use. Plus, there's the fact that other freeAmericans assembled this truck, and the companies that bought, sold andhauled parts and supplies to make that pickup possible. As I turn the key,ol' tans fires up on diesel fuel that a mean, nasty, big oil companyconveniently made very accessible and affordable to me. I turn out of myland that I can freely own, onto a county maintained road that leads to anypoint in North America I would choose to go to that day. Also, in thiscountry, I am free to own livestock and free to care for them so that thelivestock will return a profit so I can repay my bank, buy my feed and fuel,and provide for my family. On Sunday Morning (or any other day that ends in"Y") my family is free drive from our house on a ribbon of roads that leadto the Church of our choice and worship the real owner of all things weknow, God. We can give praise to Him for all and especially for Jesus.Why can't these hopefuls for the highest-ranking governmental seat see thatit is just that simple? Provide me infrastructure and protect me from theseknot-headed whack's that think they can take away our freedom. Billary, BamaMama or McNobrain aren't going to change anything. The foundations of thisgreat country can't be changed by one person, no matter how much they thinkthey can. As Americans, we have the right to succeed or fail and try againas we please. As a free man, I'm getting good at failing but I get smarterwhen I try again.When presidential candidates tout change, the only thing I see in thiscountry that needs changing is them. Life in America is good and for thosethat don't think so, you're free to leave at any time, go to another countryof your choice and try to change it.I'm Monte Tucker, and that is what's under my professional bovine relocationspecialist hat. Wait, I'm not changing, that is what's under my COWBOY hat!Remember our freedom is not free; try to wear a red shirt on Fridays to showsupport for our troops.