Todd Davis Become ID Theft Victim

I have this service and have seen some improvement as promised but don't remember him ever saying it was 100% protection. Doesn't this issue simply mean we need to start holding our 3 Credit Bureau's accountable - now there's an idea!!!!!

SAN JOSE, California (AP) -- Todd Davis has dared criminals for two years to try stealing his identity: Ads for his fraud-prevention company, LifeLock, even offer his Social Security number next to his smiling mug.

Todd Davis, CEO of Lifelock, uses his real Social Security number in his company's advertisements.

Now, LifeLock customers in Maryland, New Jersey and West Virginia are suing Davis, claiming his service didn't work as promised and he knew it wouldn't, because the service had failed even him.
Attorney David Paris said he found records of other people applying for or receiving driver's licenses at least 20 times using Davis' Social Security number, though some of the applications may have been rejected because data in them didn't match what the Social Security Administration had on file.
Davis acknowledged in an interview with The Associated Press that his stunt has led to at least 87 instances in which people have tried to steal his identity, and one succeeded: a guy in Texas who duped an online payday loan operation last year into giving him $500 using Davis' Social Security number.
Paris said the fact Davis' records were compromised at all supports the claim that Tempe, Arizona-based LifeLock doesn't provide the comprehensive protection its advertisements say it does.
"It's further evidence of the ineffectiveness of the services that LifeLock advertises," said Paris, who is lead attorney on the three new lawsuits, the latest of which was filed this month.
Davis learned about the fraud in Texas when the payday-loan outfit called to collect on the loan, he said. He didn't get an alert beforehand because the company didn't go through one of the three major credit bureaus before approving the transaction.

Davis said it's possible driver's licenses have been issued to other people in his name because of the widespread availability of his personal information -- and because of what he described as the flimsy mechanisms in place to report that kind of fraud.
Paris noted that LifeLock charges $10 a month to set fraud alerts with credit bureaus, even though consumers can do it themselves for free.
But Davis stands by his company and his advertising gimmick, which has appeared in newspapers and on billboards, radio and MTV. He even broadcasts it by bullhorn on walking tours through crowded downtowns.
"There's nothing on my actual credit report about uncollected funds, no outstanding tickets or warrants or anything," he said. "There's nothing to indicate my identity has been successfully compromised other than the one instance. I know I'm taking a slightly higher risk. But I'll take my risk for the tremendous benefit we're bringing to society and to consumers."
The lawsuits, for which Paris is seeking class-action status, highlight the fundamental limits on how much security identity-theft companies can provide.
Companies like LifeLock can help guard against only certain types of financial fraud by helping consumers set up alerts with credit bureaus, which inform them when someone tries to open a new line of credit or boost their credit limit to finance a buying binge, for example.
The services don't guard against many types of identity theft such as use of a stolen Social Security number on a job application or for medical services, or even the instance of an arrestee giving police a stolen Social Security number to shield his own identity.
LifeLock is also being sued in Arizona over its $1 million service guarantee, which the plaintiffs claim is misleading because it only covers a defect in LifeLock's service, and in California by the Experian credit bureau. Experian accuses LifeLock of deceiving consumers about the breadth of its protection and abusing the system for attaching fraud alerts to credit reports.
Security experts say complaints about the company reinforce the time-honored wisdom of keeping your Social Security number secret.
"There's been a lot of marketing, a lot of hype about LifeLock," said Paul Stephens, director of policy and advocacy with the Privacy Rights Clearinghouse, a nonprofit consumer advocacy organization. "The question is, 'How much protection does it really buy you?"'
"There is no company that can guarantee they can protect you (completely) against identity theft," Stephens said. "Absolutely nobody can do that."

Happy Birthday Toothpaste Tube!!!

Today we celebrate the birth of the toothpaste tube. Where would crest be without it? LOL

About the story behind the invention of the toothpaste tube, history and biography of inventor Dr. Washington Wentworth Sheffield.
INVENTION: Toothpaste Tube
INVENTOR: Dr. Washington Wentworth Sheffield, U.S.
YEAR: 1892
HOW INVENTED: Until this time, families bought porcelain jars of dental cream, dug their toothbrushes into the jars, and cleaned their teeth. Dr. Sheffield, a dentist in New London, Conn., considered the practice unhygienic and decided to do something about it. He had seen foreign foods packaged in collapsible metal tubes, and he decided to create a flexible tube container for toothpaste. No sooner said than done. Between 1892 and 1900, sales of Dr. Sheffield's Creme Dentifrice boomed. After that, Dr. Sheffield expanded operations to make tubes for dozens of other products.

Armed Forces Day

Today's Armed Forces day........ have you thanked a serviceman / woman today?

Oh So Cute

Do my friends have the cutest kids or what!!!!!! Here are Kari, CC, Alexa & Ashley.

Ashley & Mommy

CC and Mommy

Surprise!!!!!!!!!!

Last night my friends Chris & Steve came over for a quiet dinner...... or so she thought! Actually we hosted a small surprise party for her to wish her well on her new adventures in life. Lots of food, lots of laughter and good friends made for the perfect evening.

GOOD LUCK CHRIS!!!!

Bandits Win NLL Championship!!!!!

Saturday was a big night in our house. Not only did mom & dad dazzle the ballroom world with their new found steps but Donal, Kari, Dave and I went to the NLL Championship game where the Buffalo Bandits took on the Portland Lumberjacks. The Bandits scored the first goal 22 seconds into the game, followed shortly by a goal from the Lumberjacks. That's pretty much how the game went from start to end. Amid a sea of orange with punches of black the Bandits went on to win with a 14-13 victory. To be fair to Portland, they put up a good fight and kept the game interesting. In true Buffalo fashion they got away with more than their fair share of penalties and got a goal (their 13th to be exact) that shouldn't have counted. But, the end result was in Buffalo's favor as the Lacrosse Gods smiled on us. Sporting their mohawks - all but Steenhuis who left his trademark curls - the Bandits took their Thank You lap at the end of the game. It made an already rockin' crowd scream just that much more. Queen's "We Are the Champions" played as the players took yet another Thank You lap, this time carrying the Cup. Tears fell, beer flowed, screams shook the walls and a general feeling of family filled HSBC arena Saturday. Walking back to the car, an orange clad Bandit fan summed it up perfectly, "I LOVE this town! I wouldn't trade it in a million years!" Ring on Bandit brother, ring on!

Twinkle Toes shine at Spring Fling

This past Saturday, mom & dad were invited to perform in the Fred Astair Spring Fling. They danced 2 numbers together then 2 numbers each with their instructors Vera and Vladimir. Here they are look snazzy and happy. Way to go mom & dad!!!!!

A blogger re-found

It's pretty slow in the office today as a number of people are out for vacation, training, whatever. It's non-campaign so we're in relax mode - sorta.

I had an interest in a blog I'd seen a while ago. www.mickeyashmore.blogspot.com is a site I've mentioned before and was totally enthralled by. I envy that he is able to travel the world like I travel my house. He has a genuine interest in everything that life has to offer and has the rare opportunity to enjoy it....... in person. If you get a second to stop by his site, I highly recommend it yet again. For now, I'll stick with the Travel Channel. LOL Wonder where Samantha Brown's off to next!

Bon Voyage Chris!

Today is my friend Chris's last day at work. She's starting a new chapter in her life and we're all sad to see her go but happy for the new opportunities. Any event is a reason to celebrate in our building......... celebrate = food.

When Chris bought her house a few months ago, the first thing she told me was that she was finally going to have a garden. So, keeping that in mind, I made her a cake garden! Feel free to place orders! LOL

Deskless Classroom

I had to take this from one of my favorite blogs "One Marine's View" because I don't believe anyone could have said it better. If you've never seen his blog, click on the link to the right.

Don't know if you've ever seen this. A great lesson for all kids.

Back in September of 2005, on the first day of school, Martha Cothren, asocial studies school teacher at Robinson High School in Little Rock ,did something not to be forgotten.

On the first day of school, with the permission of the schoolsuperintendent, the principal and the building supervisor, she removedall of the desks out of her classroom.
When the first period kids entered the room they discovered that therewere no desks.

Looking around, confused, they asked,'Ms. Cothren, where're our desks?'
She replied, 'You can't have a desk until you tell me what you have doneto earn the right to sit at a desk.'
They thought, 'Well, maybe it's our grades.'No,' she said.
'Maybe it's our behavior.'She told them, 'No, it's not even your behavior'.
And so, they came and went, the first period, second period, thirdperiod. Still no desks in the classroom.

By early afternoon television news crews had started gathering in Ms.Cothren's classroom to report about this crazy teacher who had taken allthe desks out of her room.
The final period of the day came and as the puzzled students found seatson the floor of the desk less classroom.

Martha Cothren said, 'Throughout the day no one has been able to tell mejust what he/she has done to earn the right to sit at the desks that areordinarily found in this classroom. Now I am going to tell you.'
At this point, Martha Cothren went over to the door of her classroomand opened it.
Twenty-seven (27) U.S. Veterans, all in uniforms, walked into thatclassroom, each one carrying a school desk. The Vets began placing the school desks in rows, and then they would walk over and stand alongside the wall.
By the time the last soldier had set the final desk in place those kidsstarted to understand, perhaps for the first time in their lives, justhow the right to sit at those desks had been earned.
Martha said, 'You didn't earn the right to sit at these desks.
These heroes did it for you. They placed the desks here for you.Now, it's up to you to sit in them.
It is your responsibility to learn, to begood students, to be good citizens.
They paid the price so that youcould have the freedom to get an education. Don't ever forget it.'
By the way, this is a true story.... If you can read this, thank ateacher. If you read it in English, thank a soldier.
Yes, it really is a true story..

Standoff on the I-190

I agree that lately we have become a sick society, taking pleasure in watching the pain & suffering of others but last night this standoff happened literally at the end of my street. How could I not walk down to watch? I'm glad no one got hurt but worry that tonight will be flat out boring with no SWAT teams, news camera and insane traffic jams. LOL Here's what Channel 2 had to say about it this morning, pitful if you ask me.

190 Standoff Ends; Florida Man Undergoing Psychiatric Evaluation

Posted by: Athan Kompos, Producer
Posted by: Marissa Bailey, Assignment Editor
Created: 5/12/2008 6:20:47 PM
Updated: 5/13/2008 3:17:24 AM
A standoff that closed the 190 in both directions from Amherst to Niagara Street in Buffalo for nearly three hours has ended with no one hurt. Shortly before 9:00pm, the SWAT team surrounded James Gilchriese's truck, pulled him out and placed him in custody.Officials say the 66-year-old, Vietnam veteran from Florida is a former Western New York Native. He was not hurt and was taken to a local hospital for a psychiatric evaluation. Officers pulled the truck over just after 6:00pm after another driver called 911 to report a couple fighting in the vehicle. That's when Gilchriese walked out of his vehicle and stood on the 190 with a loaded gun pointed at his head. His 50-year-old girlfriend was not hurt and was taken from the scene by police about a half hour after the incident began. Police officials say negotiations were tense and that Gilchriese appeared to have been drinking. The incident tied up traffic on the 190 and on boat traffic on the Niagara River for hours.

Channel 7 is a little more informative:

An armed Western New York native and Vietnam Veteran brought traffic to a stand-still on Interstate 190 on Monday evening before being taken into custody by the Buffalo Police SWAT team.James Gilchriese, 66, of Hernando, Florida, held a gun to his head with one hand and a cell phone in the other as he talked with police hostage negotiators.At times, the distraught man was seen walking around on the southbound lanes of the I-190. At other times, he sat on a guardrail and refused to talk with police.Gilchriese was threatened to kill himself. The standoff lasted nearly three hours.It all started just before 6 o'clock at the peak of rush hour. Gilchriese, who is in town visiting relatives, was seen driving his truck and arguing with a passenger, his girlfriend.Patricia S. Meckley, 50, also of Florida, managed to escape the vehicle after Gilchriese pulled over. State police found Gilchriese in the vehicle with a gun and immediately halted traffic in both directions on the busy expressway.The man was eventually apprehended when the Buffalo Police SWAT Team moved in and took Gilchriese into custody without incident.

Channel 4 has the best report:

Armed standoff on I-190 in Buffalo ends, suspect charged
Posted:
var wn_last_ed_date = getLEDate("May 12, 2008 6:28 PM EST"); document.write(wn_last_ed_date);
May 12, 2008 06:28 PM EDT
Updated:
var wn_last_ed_date = getLEDate("May 13, 2008 8:26 AM EST"); document.write(wn_last_ed_date);
May 13, 2008 08:26 AM EDT
Video On Demand

Armed standoff on I-190 in Buffalo ends, suspect charged

BUFFALO, N.Y. (WIVB) - We want to bring you the very latest on that tense police stand-off that had many glued to News 4 Monday night.
Officers from Buffalo, Erie County, and New York State Police agencies had their hands full. They had to divert rush-hour traffic. They had to keep spectators a safe distance away. And most of all, they had to prevent an armed standoff from turning tragic.
With a flash and a bang, law enforcers moved in and pulled 66-year-old James Gilchriese of Florida out of a pickup truck, three hours after police say he started an armed standoff.
Investigators believe the suspect had become involved in a violent argument.
During Monday night's live coverage, witness Tom Snyder said he saw the violent dispute unfold along the 190 in Niagara Falls.
Tom Snyder said, "...and I noticed that gold pickup with the Florida plates on the side of the road. And when I drove by it, I looked over and it appeared like the guy was punching the passenger."
Police identify that passenger as Gilchriese's girlfriend, 50-year-old Patricia Meckley.
The couple drove into Buffalo, where an officer pulled them over. Gilchriese allegedly pulled his gun, and the standoff began.
A short while later, Meckley was taken away safely by Buffalo Police Commissioner McCarthy Gipson and two other officers.
As darkness arrived, officers used a noise-flash diversionary device to help them capture Gilchriese without seriously harming him.
New York State Police Captain Michael Nigrelli said, "Yeah, we inconvenienced traffic on the south and the northbound 190 for a few hours. But you know what, it's a small price to pay to save someone's life."
Captain Nigrelli says alcohol was involved. Right now, Gilchriese is charged with DWI, but will face additional charges after police consult with the Erie County District Attorney's Office.
Story by Melissa Holmes, WIVB.

"Will you give this to my daddy?"

We have all seen the videos now read the rest of the story!

Last week I was in Atlanta, Georgia attending a conference. While I was in the airport, returning home, I heard several people behind me beginning toclap and cheer. I immediately turned around and witnessed one of the greatest acts of patriotism I have ever seen. Moving thru the terminal was a group of soldiers in their camos. As they began heading to their gate, everyone (well almost everyone) was abruptly to their fee t with their hands waving and cheering.
When I saw the soldiers, probably 30-40 of them, being applauded and cheered for, it hit me, I'm not alone, I'm not the only red-blooded American who still loves this country and supports our troops and their families. Of course I immediately stopped and began clapping for these young unsung heroes who are putting their lives on the line everyday for us so we can go to school, work and home without fear or reprisal.

Just when I thought I could not be more proud of my country or of our service men and women, a young girl, not more than 6 or 7 years old, ran up to one of the male soldiers. He kneeled down and said 'hi.'
The little girl then asked him if he would give something to her daddy for her.
The young soldier, who didn't look any older than maybe 22 himself, said he would try and what did she want to give to her Daddy. Then suddenly the little girl grabbed the neck of this soldier, gave him the bigg est hug shecould muster and then kissed him on the cheek.
The mother of the little girl, who said her daughter's name was Courtney, told the young soldier that her husband was a Marine and had been in Iraqfor 11 months now. As the mom was explaining how much her daughter Courtney missed her father, the young soldier began to tear up.
When this temporarily single mom was done explaining her situation, all of the soldiers huddled together for a brief second. Then one of the other servicemen pulled out a military-looking walkie-talkie. They started playingwith the device and talking back and forth on it.
After about 10-15 seconds of this, the young soldier walked back over to Courtney, bent down and said this to her, 'I spoke to your daddy and he told me to give this to you.' He then hugged this little girl that he had justmet and gave her a kiss on the cheek. He finished by saying 'your daddy told me to tell you that he loves you more than anyt hing and he is coming home very soon.'
The mom at this point was crying almost uncontrollably and as the young soldier stood to his feet, he saluted Courtney and her mom. I was standing no more than 6 feet away from this entire event.
As the soldiers began to leave, heading towards their gate, people resumed their applause. As I stood there applauding and looked around, there were very few dry eyes, including my own. That young soldier in one last act of selflessness, turned around and blew a kiss to Courtney with a tear rolling down his cheek.
We need to remember everyday all of our soldiers and their families and thank God for them and their sacrifices. At the end of the day, it's good to be an American.

RED FRIDAYS ----- Very soon, you will see a great many people wearing Red every Friday. The reason? Americans who support our troops used to be called the 'silent majority'. We are no longer silent, and are voicing our love for God, country and home in record breaking numbers.
We are not organized, boisterous or over-bearing. We get no liberal media coverage on TV, to reflect our message or our opinions. Many Americans, likeyou, me and all our friends, simply want to recognize that the vast majority of America supports our troops. Our idea of showing solidarity and support for our troops with dignity and respect starts this Friday and continues each and every Friday until the troops all come home, sending a deafening message that.. Every red-blooded American who supports our men and women afar will wear some thing red.
By word of mouth, press, TV -- let's make the United States on every Friday a sea of red much like a homecoming football game in the bleachers.

If every one of us who loves this country will share this with acquaintances, co-workers, friends, and family. It will not be long before the USA is covered in RED and it will let our troops know the once 'silent' majority is on their side more than ever; certainly more than the media lets on.
The first thing a soldier says when asked 'What can we do to make things better for you?' is...We need your support and your prayers.
Let's get the word out and lead with class and dignity, by example; and wear something red every Friday.

Amputee vets see eye-to-eye on Segways

So happy to see this is going on!

ARLINGTON, Virginia (CNN) -- U.S. Army Sgt. Jacque Keeslar lost both legs in Iraq nearly two years ago. To get around, he relies on a wheelchair and a pair of artificial legs, which help him walk in short bursts.

Veterans at Walter Reed are using Segways that are custom designed for their injuries to get around.

"If I have to do a half mile or mile of walking, it just exhausts me," Keeslar said.
Now, thanks to a specially designed Segway, the battery-powered transporter, Keeslar says he can ditch his wheelchair and get around without people looking down on him.
Keeslar was among 30 vets who received their own modified Segways this week, courtesy of Disability Rights Advocates for Technology.
The nonprofit group presented its latest batch of Segways to the veterans in a ceremony Wednesday at the Army-Navy Country Club in Arlington, Virginia. That brings the number of Segways they have donated to vets to about 150.
Leonard Timm, who founded DRAFT in 2005, calls the mission "Segs-4-Vets."

"[The Segways] provide them with another mobility option that will increase their distance, and will give them a way to communicate with the world standing up," Timm said.
Segway-equipped amputees in physical therapy at the Walter Reed Army Medical Center train on their new rides as part of an informal club at the facility. On Fridays, they wheel their machines as a group around the site in Washington. Watch the vets try out their Segways »
The machines cost about $6,000 each and are provided at a discount to DRAFT by Segway dealers around the country. The manufacturer, cautious that the machine is not certified as a medical device, has not been directly involved in the campaign, which is supported by donations.
The machines are popular with law enforcement for sidewalk patrols. Recently, tourists have started using them to go sightseeing.

You think the war's expensive?

This just frosted my cookies!

You think the war in Iraq is costing us too much?
Read this: Boy am I confused. I have been hammered with the propaganda that it isthe Iraq war and the war on terror that is bankrupting us. I now find that to be RIDICULOUS. I hope the following 14 reasons are forwarded over and over again untilthey are read so many times that the reader gets sick of reading them. Ihave included the URL's for verifi cation of all the following facts.
1. $11 Billion to $22 billion is spent on welfare to illegalaliens each year.
Verify at: http://tinyurl.com/zob77
2. $2.2 Billion dollars a year is spent on food assistanceprograms such as food stamps, WIC, and free school lunches for illegalaliens.
Verify at: http://www.cis..org/articles/2004/fiscalexec. h tml
3. $2.5 Billion dollars a year is spent on Medicaid for illegalaliens.
Verify at: http://www.cis..org/articles/2004/fiscalexec.html
4. $12 Billion dollars a year is spent on primary and secondaryschool education for children here illegally and they cannot speak a wordof English!
Verify at:http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.0.html
5 .& nbsp; $17 Billion dollars a year is spent for education forthe American-born children of illegal aliens, known as anchor babies.
Verify athttp://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.01.html
6. $3 Million Dollars a DAY is spent to incarcerate illegalaliens.
Verify at:http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.01.html
7. 30% percent of all Federal Prison inmates are illegal aliens.&n bsp;&nb sp;
Verify at:http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.01.html
8. $90 Billion Dollars a year is spent on illegal aliens forWelfare & social services by the American taxpayers.
Verify at:http://premium.cnn.com/TRANSCIPTS/0610/29/ldt.01.html
9. $200 Billion Dollars a year in suppressed American wages arecaused by the illegal aliens. & nbsp;&n bsp;
Verify a t:http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.01.html
10. The illegal aliens in the United States have a crime ratethat's two and a half times that of white non-illegal aliens. Inparticular, their children, are going to make a huge additional crimeproblem in the US
Verify at:http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0606/12/ldt.01.html
11. During the year of 2005 there were 4 to 10 MILLION ill egalaliens that crossed our Southern Border also, as many as 19,500 illegalaliens from Terrorist Countries. Millions of pounds of drugs, cocaine,meth, heroin and marijuana, crossed into the U. S from the Southern border.
Verify at: Homeland Security Report: http://tinyurl.com/t9sht
12. The National Policy Institute, 'estimated that the total costof mass deportation would be between $206 and $230 billion or an averagecost of between $41 and $46 billion annually over a five year period.'
Verify at: http://www.nationalpolicyinstitute.org/ pdf/deportation.pdf
13. In 2006 illegal aliens sent home $45 BILLION in remittancesback to their countries of origin.
Verify at: http://www.rense.com/general75/niht.htm
14. 'The Dark Side of Illegal Immigration: Nearly One Million SexCrimes Committed by Illegal Immigrants In The United States.'
Verify at: http://www.drdsk.com/articleshtml

The total cost is a whopping $ 338.3 BILLION DOLLARS A YEAR. Are weTHAT stupid? If this doesn't bother you then just delete the message. If, on theother hand, it does raise the hair on the back of your neck, I hope youforward it to every legal resident in the country including everyrepresentative in Washington, D.C. - five times a week for as long as ittakes to restore some semblance of intelligence in our policies andenforcement thereof.

Can you live on $9.25 a day? Neither could they..

Below is a link to an article in today's Buffalo News which everyone needs to read. With the cost of EVERYTHING on the rise, even those of us just outside the poverty guidelines are struggling, myself included. Well, here's the official number of what is "poverty" and the challenge to others - including my own boss - to live within that number.

http://www.buffalonews.com/cityregion/buffaloerie/story/342525.html

So Long Lucas

Today is my friend Lucas' last day and a few co-workers got to his cube after he left last night. Dad made him his own monkey bread, I made him chocolate cake with chocolate frosting (hope he shares! lol) and then I made him the only thing I know he really loves to eat - lemon poppyseed muffins! He's leaving to finish his teaching degree in NYC and while we're all happy for him, we're gonna miss him to. I'll miss him for any number of reasons. He's a great friend, easy to talk to and he reminds you that there are still a few "white knights" out there.

BEST OF LUCK LUCAS!!!!

St. Baldrick's Success!

This past Saturday, dad took it all off, all his hair that is, for a great cause. St. Baldrick's is a non-profit organization that raises money for researching cures to childhood cancer. This year was especially special to us. My cousin Jeff's co-worker has a little boy named Jon Jon (pictured here) who has a tumor IN his brain stem. The doctor's have given him no more than 15 months. :-( That being said, Twin City paramedics banded together litterally and figuratively. They sold wrist bands with Jon Jon's Journey on them for $5 (www.jonjonsjourney.com) and they got together to shave their heads in a show of support. Dad - who never likes to see children suffer - didn't hesitate to join in the cause. Raising over $300, he joined over 40 people on April 26th to show their support for cancer patients everywhere. The great part was that women shaved their heads to! The Niagara University hockey team also showed up and 3 of their members shaved their heads to. Kari of course got her picture taken with them.... but that's another story for another post! Check out this annual event at www.stbaldricks.org and spread the word!

Garbage Pickers Gone Wild!!!

When we were little, my brother and I would peek over the top of our couch and out the window to watch the garbage pickers who came under cover of darkness. With their Sanford & Sons pick up trucks they'd dig through what other people no longer wanted searching for gold like prospectors in the Yukon Territory. They'd dig through piles looking for whatever they thought was cool and could bring in a few extra bucks.
This pas month, I saw trucks passing each other in broad daylight, looking just like the trucks from before but this time the guys were different. Younger guys who didn't care who saw them or who was around they'd have to fight for an old lamp. They weren't looking for the odd little treasure, they were looking for anything they could sell and screw the rest. Is that what's happened to our society?

A New Baby

It is with great pleasure that I announce a new branch to our family tree. Last week my cousin Jeff welcomed his 3rd son, Trent Jeffrey into the world. At 20" in lenght and 8lbs 9oz he was no small thing but we love him just the same.

WELCOME TRENT!!!

Protect your family now!

http://www.familywatchdog.us/search.asp

When you visit this site you can enter your address and a map will pop up with your house as a small icon of a house. There will be red, blue and green dots surrounding your entire neighborhood. When you click on these dots a picture of a criminal will appear with his or her home address and the description of the crime he or she has committed.The best thing is that you can show your children these pictures and see how close these people live to your home or school.

What it means to be Irish..

In celebration of the 17th.....here is a good chuckle for you........
What Being Irish Means
You will never play professional basketball.
You swear very well.
At least one of your cousins holds political office.
You think you sing very well.
You have no idea how to make a long story short.
You are very good at playing a lot of very bad golf.
There isn't a huge difference between losing your temper and killing someone.
Much of your food was boiled.
You have never hit your head on the ceiling.
You spent a good portion of your childhood kneeling.
You're strangely poetic after a few beers.
You're, therefore, poetic a lot.
You will be punched for no good reason...a lot.
Some punches directed at you are legacies from past generations.
Your sister will punch you because your brother punched her.
Many of your sisters are Catherine, Elizabeth or Mary....and one is Mary Catherine Elizabeth.
Someone in your family is incredibly cheap. It is more than likely you.
You don't know the words, but that doesn't stop you from singing.
You can't wait for the other guy to stop talking so you can start talking.
"Irish Stew" is the euphemism for "boiled leftovers from the fridge".
You're not nearly as funny as you think you are, but what you lack in talent, you make up for in frequency.
There wasn't a huge difference between your last wake and your last keg party.
You are, or know someone, named "Murph".
If you don't know Murph, then you know Mac, if you don't know Murph or
Mac, then you know Sully, and you'll probably also know Sully McMurphy.
You are genetically incapable of keeping a secret.
Your parents were on a first name basis with everyone at the local emergency room.
And last but not least... Being Irish means... your attention span is so short that oh, forget it!

St. Pat's Part 2

I wouldn't be me if I didn't add the picture of us all dressed up!

So I'm a little late...

Ok, I'm a little late with these but oh well. Here's a picture or two from St. Patrick's Day. We started out by agreeing to bring in small things for making sandwich's and it blossomed into a FEAST!!! Happy Belated St. Patrick's Day!

How can you not laugh at this???

THIS EMAIL IS SO FUNNY..........HOPE YOU ENJOY AS I DID..........A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested. The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself. The man replied, 'Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition.She sat down under a sign that said,'The Double Mint Twins are Com in' and I grinned.' Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, 'Logan's Liniment Will Reduce The Swelling', and I had to smile. 'Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said,'William's Big Stick Did the Trick', and I could hardly contain myself.' 'BUT, your Honor, when She moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, 'Goodyear ! Rubber could have prevented this Accident'... I just Lost it. CASE DISMISSED!!'Now keep that smile on your face and pass it on to someone else.

Eco Friendly Cards

I wouldn't mind ordering a few of these myself.

http://www.ethicalsuperstore.com/category/cards-and-stationery/cards/?sort=1d&limit=80&page=2

Joke For You

The Hypnotist at the Senior Center

As Claude went to the front of the meeting room, he announced,'Unlike most hypnotists who invite two or three people up here to be putinto a trance,I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience.'
The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antiquepocket watch from his coat.
'I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch.It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for sixgenerations.'
He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting,'Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch ..'
The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, lightgleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swayingwatch, until, suddenly, it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell tothe floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.
'Shit,' said the Hypnotist.
It took three days to clean up the center.

Check out what dad's up to!!

Check out this Webpage!
http://www.stbaldricks.org/referral.html?Ref=L3BhcnRpY2lwYW50cy9zaGF2ZWVfaW5mby5odG1sP1BhcnRpY2lwYW50S2V5PTIwMDgtNDk1MDU=
Hey gang! Cough up some dough or no more Monkey Bread! Dad
Don

We should all think like this..

The Mayonnaise Jar and 2 Cups Of CoffeeWhen things in your life seemalmost too much to handle,when 24 Hours in a day is not enough,remember the mayonnaise jarand 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy classand had some items in front of him.When the class began, wordlessly,he picked up a very largeand empty mayonnaise jarand proceeded to fill it with golf balls.He then asked the studentsif the jar was full.They agreed that it was.The professor then picked up a box of pebblesand poured them into the jar.He shook the jar lightly.The pebbles rolled into the openareas between the golf balls.He then askedthe students againif the jar was full..They agreed it was.The professor next picked up a box of sandand poured it into the jar.Of course, the sand f illed up everything else.He asked once more if the jar was full.The students respondedwith an unanimous'yes.'The professor then producedtwo cups of coffee from under the tableAnd poured the entire contentsinto the jar, effectivelyfilling the empty space between the sand.The students laughed.'Now,' said the professor,as the laughter subsided,'I want you to recognize thatthis jar represents your life.The golf balls are the important things -God, family, children, health,friends, and Favorite passions --things that if everything else was lostand only they remained,your life would still be full.The pebbles are the other things that matterlike your job, house, and car.The sand is everything else --the small stuff.'If you put the sand into the jar first,'he continued,'there is no room forthe pebbles or the golf balls.The same goes for life.If you spend all your timeand energy on the small stuff,you will never have room forthe things that areimportant to you.So...Pay attention to the thingsthat are critical to your happiness.Play With your children.Take time to get medical checkups.Take your partner out to dinner.Play another 18.There will always be timeto clean the houseand fix the disposal.'Take care of the golf balls first --the things that really matter.Set your priorities.The rest is just sand.'One of the students raised her handand inquired what the coffee represented.The professor smiled.'I'm glad you asked '.It just goes to show you that no matter how fullyour life may seem, there's always room fora couple of cups of coffee with a friend.'

What to do with your tax rebate...

Tax Rebate InformationAs you may have heard the Bush Administration said each one of us wouldnow get a nice rebate to help stimulate the economy.
If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China.
If we spend it on gasoline it will all go to the Arabs, and neither willhelp the American economy.
We need to keep that money here in America, so the only way to keepthat money here at home is to buy beer or spend it on prostitution, sincethose are the only businesses still in the U.S.My name is Eliot Spitzer, and I approved this advertisement.

Frozen in NYC - Way cool!!!

Check out this video I got from my cousin Corrie. It's awesome! I'd love to be a part of this!!! http://www.maniacworld.com/frozen-in-grand-central-station.html

School in 1957 vs 2007

SCHOOL -- 1957 vs. 2007Scenario :
Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
195 7 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2007 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counsellors called in for traumatized students and teachers.
Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2007 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.
Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.
1957 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2007 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.
Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbour's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.
Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school .
1957 - Mark shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock.
2007 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.
Scenario : Pedro fails high school English.
1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English. Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecracke rs from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane pain t bottle, blows up a red ant bed.
1957 - Ants die.
2007 - BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.
Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy

Sex in the City

I just love the series Sex in the City... and what city girl doesn't? I'm so excited about the moving come out in May I can hardly stand it. I'm thinking my girlfriends and I should go. I like to think of us as the girls from the show, even though we look nothing like them and there's more than 4 of us! If I had to assign characters we'd definatly double up but I guess I'm the Carrie of the group. I like to put my thoughts in print, I love good fashion, have rotten luck with men and am a total shoe devotee. While I'd love Charlotte's money, Samantha's sex drive or even Miranda's brains, I'm happy being the Carrie. I won't assign characters here but my girls can guess who they each most resemble. The best part is that we can all count on each other no matter what, we've been there through thick & thin and have no intention of doing anything other wise. Come husbands, children or blisters... we're quite a pack.

Poor Patrick

Being a child of the 80's I've always loved the movie Dirty Dancing. How can you not? True love conquers all with great costumes and dance moves my mother tried to shield my eyes from. lol But now I want to be serious and offer my most heartfelt Best Wishes to Mr. Patrick Swayze in his recent battle with cancer. Here's hoping you feel better and are in remission soon!!!!!

What can I say but "Oh wow."

SPRINGFIELD, Oregon (AP) -- For guys who park in front of the TV during college basketball's March Madness, the Oregon Urology Institute has a suggestion: Why not use that time to recover from a vasectomy?

Need an excuse to stay home and watch March Madness? An Oregon clinic suggests a vasectomy.

"When March Madness approaches you need an excuse ... to stay at home in front of the big screen," the clinic's radio ad says. "Get your vasectomy at Oregon Urology Institute the day before the tournament starts. It's snip city."
Institute Administrator Terry FitzPatrick said men need two to four days to recover from the procedure -- but not all take the time.
He's reserved a dozen appointment slots for March 19, the day before the first tipoffs of the NCAA Tournament, and another dozen for March 26, before the tournament's second week.
He reported filling 15 slots by Thursday afternoon and expects to fill all 24.
Health Library
MayoClinic.com: Vasectomy
The sports radio station broadcasting the clinic's ads promises to send each patient a recovery kit of sports magazines, free pizza delivery and a bag of frozen peas.
Peas?
"The frozen peas are malleable enough that you can get them right in there and get the swelling down," FitzPatrick said. E-mail to a friend

Giggle blip

I've been putting a new new posts up tonight - as you can see - and after I'm done I take a look to see how it's laid out. I just have to smile and my blog, it's so girlie and so me looking!

Yet More Rules

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with being catholic, I went to catholic schools as a kid; but man have they got some rules! I agree with not killing and not stealing and all that but in an effort to adapt to the times, the pope's sent out a new list of sins. The old ones didn't cover it all? We need to be more specific? I find this rather disturbing.

~J

ROME, Italy (AP) -- A Vatican official has listed drugs, pollution and genetic manipulations as well as social and economic injustices as new areas of sinful behavior.

The Vatican has updated the list of mortal sins to relate to the age of globalization.

Monsignor Gianfranco Girotti said in an interview published on Sunday by the Vatican's daily newspaper, L'Osservatore Romano, that known sins increasingly manifest themselves as behavior that damages society as a whole.
Girotti, who heads the Apostolic Penitentiary, a Vatican body that issues decisions on matters of conscience and grants absolutions told the paper that whilst sin used to concern the individual mostly, today it had a mainly a social resonance, due to the phenomenon of globalization.
Catholic teaching distinguishes between lesser, so-called venial sins, and mortal sins.
When asked to list the new areas of sinful behavior, Girotti denounced "certain violations of the fundamental rights of human nature through experiments, genetic manipulations."
He also mentioned drugs, which weaken the mind and obscure intelligence; pollution; as well as the widening social and economic differences between the rich and the poor that "cause an unbearable social injustice."
Girotti said the Catholic Church continued to be concerned by other sinful acts, including abortion and pedophilia.
He said Church authorities had reacted with rigorous measures to child abuse scandals within the clergy, but he also claimed that the issue had been excessively emphasized by the media.
His comments came at the end of a week-long Vatican conference on confession.
A recent survey said that 60 percent of Italian Catholics do not go to confession.
Traditionally the Catholic church has had a list of seven deadly sins, that of lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy, and pride established by Pope Gregory the Great in the 6th century.
The terms entered the popular vocabulary after the publication of Dante's "Divine Comedy."
The deadly sins are in contrast with venial sins - relatively minor sins that can be forgiven.
A person that commits a mortal sin risks burning in hell unless absolved through confession and penitence.
Now the Vatican says it is time to modernize the list to fit a global world.
On hearing the Girotti's suggestion, some priests thought it was a good idea.
Father Antonio Pelayo, a Spanish priest and Vatican expert noted that it is time for both sinners and confessors to get over their obsession with sex and think about other ways humans hurt each other in the world in which they live.
"There are many other sins that are perhaps much more grave that don't have anything to do with sex - that have to do with life, that have to do with the environment, that have to do with justice," he told AP Television.
Father Greg Apparcel, a local priest said that the Pope may have been talking About this aspect of sin as a response to the recent "Italian confession" survey.
Apparcel also hinted that the announcement may have a wider agenda ahead of the Holy Father's trip to the United States and his speech to the United Nations.
"There is some sound going around that perhaps he is going to speak about ecology and environment, and if he does, this is kind of preparation for that," he said.

Snowplows in Buffalo

Since about Wednesday, all of the news channels (2,4 & 7) have been talking about the upcoming snow storm. So my question is, where were the plows? The storm that was supposed to start on Friday night at 8:00 actually started on Friday morning. I know because we all watched out the windows at work as the morning commute looked like something taking place in a snowglobe. By the time we left the office we had snow that was ankle deep...... but no plows. When I woke up Saturday my porch was 1/2 gone and the plows were still a no-show. Thinking we just hadn't had our own street plowed, we headed off the the Bandits game to celebrate Kari's birthday.... downtown wasn't much better. Did the plows drive through here? Sunday brought more snow but still no plows..... See a theme? Finally, at 12:30 a.m. Monday morning, we got plowed. Well, let me correct myself. A snow plow went down our street. Heck, even a salt truck went down our street. Yet tonight as I drove up to Rite Aid to get my perscription and then to Target to get trouser socks for mom, the roads were no clearer. People were parked on both sides of the street and couldn't get along the curb. Now that we've narrowed the road with cars on both sides and snow that should have been plowed I now add one more element. The oversided truck. I'm all for bigger & better (just look at my thighs lol) but are they needed? Buffalo is an old city with narrow streets that can't accomodate these guys in weather like this. Before I get off on yet another rant, let me return to my original question. Where were the plows?

The "Teflon Kid" Slips

Now, I like dear Eliot Spitzer and I don't think he should have to leave office but I was sure shocked as hell to hear this when I left my weekly staff meeting this afternoon.

~J

(CNN) -- New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer is under investigation for allegedly meeting with a prostitute in a Washington hotel, two sources with knowledge of the investigation told CNN.

Gov. Eliot Spitzer, with his wife, Silda, by his side, apologizes to his family and to the public.

One of the sources said Spitzer is identified in a criminal complaint as "Client-9," and that Spitzer's alleged involvement was caught on a federal wiretap.
The governor's statement came four days after federal prosecutors in New York announced charges against four people accused of running an international prostitution and money-laundering ring that catered to big spenders.
According to prosecutors, Emperors Club VIP charged between $1,000 and $5,500 an hour and operated in New York; Los Angeles, California; Miami, Florida; London, England; and Paris, France.
Don't Miss
Read the criminal complaint (PDF)
The criminal complaint about the ring did not name any customers, but authorities intercepted text messages, e-mails and telephone calls.
On Monday, Spitzer apologized to his family and to the public for an undisclosed personal matter. "I have acted in a way that violates my obligations to my family, that violates my or any sense of right and wrong," he said, as his wife, Silda Wall Spitzer, stood by his side.
"I am disappointed that I failed to live up to the standard I expected of myself," he said. "I must now dedicate some time to regain the trust of my family." Watch Spitzer's apology »
Spitzer facts
Time magazine names Spitzer "Crusader of the Year" during his two terms as New York attorney general.
Tabloids label him "Eliot Ness," because of his reputation for rooting out corruption, busting white-collar criminals and tackling organized crime.
Spitzer is known for prosecuting several prostitution rings.
He attended Princeton and Harvard, then became an assistant district attorney in Manhattan.
He worked for three New York law firms and decided to run in his mid-30s for attorney general.
The first-term Democrat had been considered a rising star in his party.
Spitzer is married and has three daughters.
His statement came after a New York Times report based on a single unnamed administration official who said the governor had informed his staff he had been involved in a prostitution ring.
Spitzer did not address or deny the report, and he did not take questions.
Federal authorities are investigating allegations Spitzer met with a prostitute in a Washington hotel, a senior source with knowledge of the investigation told CNN.
Before the news conference, three Democratic sources -- one in New York's capital, Albany, one in New York, and one in Washington -- told CNN a top Spitzer aide had told them the governor would resign.
"The governor called his senior staff together and told them he wanted to inform them first about a major announcement of a personal nature," a prominent New York Democrat told CNN.
"To say this is a shock is an understatement," said CNN senior legal analyst Jeffrey Toobin, who went to law school with Spitzer.
Toobin called Spitzer, "the straightest arrow I know."
The Republican Governors Association has called on Spitzer to resign to "allow the people of New York to pursue honest leadership."
"The American people are tired of corrupt and hypocritical politicians. The governor of New York is just another in the long list of politicians that have failed their constituents," Nick Ayers, RGA executive director, said in a statement.
Spitzer's office, the U.S. Attorney's office in New York and New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg all declined to comment on Spitzer.
Spitzer, 48, served as New York's attorney general for eight years before being elected governor. E-mail to a friend
CNN's Kelli Arena and John King contributed to this report.

Community In Crisis

As we near March 31st, the major thing on everyone's mind isn't charity. Did I pay my bills on time? Am I getting a tax refund? What if I have to pay this year? Can the gas prices go any higher or the price of anything for that matter?

Well, we can't deny that things are getting more expensive and our paychecks are growing to match that need; my own included. Maybe it's just the way my parents raised me but I know that I'm not the only one going through a rough time financially. If I'm not the only one that means family, friends and neighbors are in the same boat and I can't over look that.

I'm asking you, my loyal readers- or readers at all - to take a minute to go to www.uwbec.org and make a contribution. It doesn't have to be much, anything at all will help. We need to get to $15.4 million in order to operate the way we have been this past year. I don't mean giving it to administrative costs but to fund the programs that we or someone we know are using. To keep mom and dad active at a senior day program, a place for Susie and Sam to go to after school. No parent can afford to stay home with their children anymore, no matter how much we want to. Instead we are forced to put our children into the care of others at day care centers we're not 100% sure about. A contribution to United Way will help keep the Success by 6 program running which helps to get day care centers up to speed so we don't have to worry about our children while we're at work. That in and of itself is a 10 lb weight off our mind.

I could go on and on about the good work United Way does but why take attention away from the website done by professionals. Take a look around and see some of the statistics. If it doesn't make you want to help then I can't force you. Just remember that it's not just ill deeds that come back three fold..... it's good deeds to.

Buffalo, the city of good neighbors.

Georgia Grannies

Lawyers should never ask a Georgia grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?'

She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'

She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,
If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.

Marketing Master

My cousin Corrie sent me this website and I loved this mini marketing quiz. While I only scored 15 of 20 - leaving me a Savvy marketing person - had I read I'm sure I'd have done better. Take the quiz and let me know how you do!

http://www.cramersweeney.com/smartmarketing.html

Jen's 24!!!!

Jen Y turned 24 today and we couldn't let the event jog on by. Oh no! In honor of her love of running, Renita & I made this great running cake complete with 2 kinds of cake, 5 kinds of color and 4 layers. Yup, I think we crossed the finish line with this one! LOL

Happy Birthday!!!!

Men in Maxi Pad Marketing is a BAAAADDD Idea

This is an ACTUAL letter from an Austin woman sent to Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph.

Dear Mr. Thatcher:
I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi-pads for over 20 years, and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the Leak-Guard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flex-Wings.Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi-pads be aerodynamic. I can' t tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants. Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from the curse? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call an inbred hillbilly with knife skills. Isn't the human body amazing? As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customersT monthly visits from Aunt Flo. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants...which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words, Have a Happy Period. Are you fu**ing kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness " actual smiling, laughing happiness is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well¦did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything happy about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory. For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi-pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like Put Down the Hammer or Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong, or are you just picking on us? Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bull sh*t. And that's a promise I will keep.Always.
Best, Wendi AaronsAustin, TX
PC Magazine's 2007 editors' choice for best Webmail-award-winning letter.

Golf Accident

Two women were playing golf one day, when one of them watched in horrorasher tee shot headed directly toward a foursome of men who were playingthenext hole.
The ball hit one of the men.
He immediately clasped his handstogether at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.
The woman rushed down to the man, andimmediately began to apologize.
'Please allow me to help. I'm aPhysicalTherapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me,' she told him.
'Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll befine in a few minutes,' the man replied.
He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands together at his groin. At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help.
She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside.
She administered a tender and artful massage for several longmoments and asked, 'How does that feel'?
He replied: 'It feels great,but Istill think my thumb's broken.'

New Fast Food

The Globe Moved Without Me

About a week ago my friend Laura emailed me to say she found my high school love - who had vanished off the face of the earth - on MySpace. She sent him a friends request and just thought I should know. So, i logged in, typed in his name and poof! There he is. Looking as good as ever and reminding me that 10 yrs later I'm still in love with him. Just when I felt ready to forget him completely and move on in a new direction, the globe took 10 steps to the left and forgot to tell me.

Customer Service or Customer Annoyance?

While dad & I were at Lowe's - worth the drive for a better selection - to get more materials for our bathroom, dad mentioned he needed a certain saw blade. "Wait right here, I think it's in Tool World right there." So I waited at the end of a busy isle, right in front of a cashier who was doing nothing. Do you think she asked if I needed help? Nope. Dad wandered around for about 15 minutes and no one offered to help him. About 5 associates walked passed and saw him looking at various items but no one bothered to say "Is there something I can help you with sir?" The days of good customer service seem to vanish like childhood innocence and leave us annoyed. Is there anyone out there who remembers us?

Kari's Turning 12!!

On the 19th, Kari turned 12 and took one step closer to becoming a dreaded teenager. We went to dinner as a family to Red Lobster and didn't even embarrass her with a song from the wait staff.

Instead, tomorrow night she's having her cousing Brooke and 3 friends over for her first ever sleep-over. Since dad's put so much into my bathroom, I'm paying for this and it's cost me over $100. Not that I'm complaining, I just want it all to be perfect for her. They'll watch movies, do each other's hair & nails. I have a fondu kit from Donald that she wants to use so I bought fruit for that and smoothie making; it's a luau theme. Since it's upstairs, we've once again had to hustle on the bathroom but we've made great progress. One more nozzel - which i have to buy tomorrow - and the water can be on to the toilet and sink. Tub will come later.

She picked out these adorable boxes that look like Chinese take out containers and we put in there a nail file for each girl, a shell necklace in different colors, lotion, a pedi kit and lip gloss in tropical flavors. Hope it all works out and say a prayer for me!

Pretty Smart Cowboy

What's Under My HatMonte TuckerJanuary 28, 2008Howdy friends and neighbors. Come on first Tuesday in November! I havealready had about all of the Presidential election I can stand. Surely,somewhere out there in this great nation is a "good ol' boy or gal," that isworth voting for. You know, someone that has actually done something, notjust talked about what they think they have done. It's only the firstquarter in the game between the R's and the D's. Both sides keep talkingabout time for change.

Just what are they going to change? They obviously haven't changed the game of politics. Billary and Bama Lama Ding Dong boost the word "change" every time I see the media put their face on my boob tube. The first place they could start changing things would be on the Senate floor that they're already on. Just go and look at their voting records for the last several months and you will find they aren't showing up to vote. You know, the job they campaigned so hard to get by promising "change," but they just don't have the time. McCain isn't immune from this either.Let's talk "change." What in the world do these hot air compressors thinkthey are going to change and why? Again, I'm just a professional bovinerelocation specialist (it's the 21st century, we used to call them cowboys).But the way I see it from Sunny Point , Oklahoma , how are they going tochange the greatest nation in the world? All of the candidates aredemanding we must change! OK. I wake up a free man every morning and I'mfree to do anything that is morally right or I can do nothing. If I chooseto do something productive that day, well I can whistle at my dog, start upmy ol' tan feed truck that I bought with the help of a free enterprisingbanking system I chose to use. Plus, there's the fact that other freeAmericans assembled this truck, and the companies that bought, sold andhauled parts and supplies to make that pickup possible. As I turn the key,ol' tans fires up on diesel fuel that a mean, nasty, big oil companyconveniently made very accessible and affordable to me. I turn out of myland that I can freely own, onto a county maintained road that leads to anypoint in North America I would choose to go to that day. Also, in thiscountry, I am free to own livestock and free to care for them so that thelivestock will return a profit so I can repay my bank, buy my feed and fuel,and provide for my family. On Sunday Morning (or any other day that ends in"Y") my family is free drive from our house on a ribbon of roads that leadto the Church of our choice and worship the real owner of all things weknow, God. We can give praise to Him for all and especially for Jesus.Why can't these hopefuls for the highest-ranking governmental seat see thatit is just that simple? Provide me infrastructure and protect me from theseknot-headed whack's that think they can take away our freedom. Billary, BamaMama or McNobrain aren't going to change anything. The foundations of thisgreat country can't be changed by one person, no matter how much they thinkthey can. As Americans, we have the right to succeed or fail and try againas we please. As a free man, I'm getting good at failing but I get smarterwhen I try again.When presidential candidates tout change, the only thing I see in thiscountry that needs changing is them. Life in America is good and for thosethat don't think so, you're free to leave at any time, go to another countryof your choice and try to change it.I'm Monte Tucker, and that is what's under my professional bovine relocationspecialist hat. Wait, I'm not changing, that is what's under my COWBOY hat!Remember our freedom is not free; try to wear a red shirt on Fridays to showsupport for our troops.

Kosovo comes into it's own..

.... I've wanted to visit this region since I first learned of it in high school Social Studies class. ~J

PRISTINA, Kosovo (CNN) -- Kosovo has formally declared its independence from Serbia and become the world's newest state in a move opposed by Serbia and Russia but backed by many western governments.

Many ethnic Albanians are waving the U.S. and UK flags, in recognition of NATO's role in the region.

Lawmakers in the legislature of the former Serbian province approved the declaration of independence at an extraordinary session Sunday afternoon. It was read out in Albanian, Serbian and English by prime minister Hashim Thaci before the approval of state symbols including Kosovar's new national flag and anthem.
Thaci said that Kosovo was an "independent and democratic" state, adding: "From this day onwards, Kosovo is proud, independent and free."
CNN's Alessio Vinci, reporting from the Kosovar capital Pristina, said that thousands of Kosovo's Albanian population had braved the freezing wind and cold to sing, dance, wave flags in the streets and light firecrackers ahead of the much anticipated vote. Some revellers were even said to be firing gunshot into the air. "It's been like this for several hours now," he said.
"It's a day they have been waiting for for such a long time that many of them are trying to figure out just how they got to this day."
President George Bush said Sunday that Kosovo's status must be resolved before the Balkans can become stable and that the United States supports the Ahtisaari plan which calls for a form of supervised independence.
The European Union decided Saturday to launch a mission of about 2,000 police and judicial officers to replace the United Nations mission that has been controlling the province since the end of the war with Serbia in 1999.
Kosovo has been under U.N. supervision and patrolled by a NATO-led peacekeeping force since the end of the three-month war, in which NATO warplanes pounded Serbia to roll back a campaign of "ethnic cleansing" of the province's Albanian population under former then-President Slobodan Milosevic.
The disputed province is dear to the Serbs, Orthodox Christians who regard it as Serbian territory. But it is equally coveted by Kosovo's ethnic Albanians, Muslims who have a 90 percent majority, and two years of talks on its final status ended in failure last December.
"Its status must be resolved in order for the Balkans to be stable," President Bush told reporters during a news conference in Tanzania Sunday.
Bush said the Ahtisaari plan -- named after former Finnish President Marti Ahtisaari -- is the best option. The proposal would give Kosovo limited statehood under international supervision.
President Bush added that "it's in Serbia's interest to be aligned with Europe and the Serbian people can know that they have a friend in America." Watch the changing political climate in the Balkans »
"We are heartened by the fact that the Kosovo government has clearly proclaimed its willingness and its desire to support Serbian rights in Kosovo," Bush said.
Thaci said Thursday he would establish a new government office for minorities and it would protect the rights of minorities after the province declares independence.
Serbian Foreign Minister Vuk Jeremic has promised his country will refrain from using force against Kosovo after independence, though he has warned that Serbia will take punitive diplomatic, political, and economic measures against the province.

Russia -- Serbia's historic ally -- has remained opposed to Kosovo's independence. Russia, which has fought two wars against separatist rebels in its southwestern republic of Chechnya, has said that U.S. and European support for Kosovo's independence could lead to an "uncontrollable crisis" in the Balkans.
The EU said Saturday that "around 1,900 international police officers, judges, prosecutors and customs officials and approximately 1,100 local staff will be based in headquarters in Pristina or located throughout the judicial and police system in Kosovo."
The EU mission's objective is "to support the Kosovo authorities by monitoring, mentoring and advising on all areas related to the rule of law, in particular in the police, judiciary, customs and correctional services," it said.

Super Tuesday Choice

I'm going to go a bit off my beaten path here and talk about today which isn't just Fat Tuesday - though after all the salsa I ate last night, I sure feel it. LOL No, I want to talk about something more important. Today's "Super Tuesday" where a bunch of states hold their primary elections and you can vote either Republican or Democrat.

I chose Mike Huckabee. Now, before you all try to commit me to Forrest Ave for an evaluation let me explain. I didn't vote for him based on his politics - which really aren't so bad when you sit down and look at them. No, I voted for Mike Huckabee for a few very basic reasons:

1) He is a Christian who's not afraid to say so, stands behind his faith, realizes that it's a big part of who he is and isn't going to change because it's "Not P.C." Personally I think this shows a lot of integrity. If he can "I'm not going to change just because you don't like this part of me" then that show's he can be a strong leader in the face of adversity.

2) He hasn't winged any "deomocratic" mud at anyone. Now we don't see a lot of his ads up here in NY because dear old Hill-Billy has such a strong hold on the state but the ones we have seen talk about him and what he's going to do. Don't we always say we want a candidate who'll do that? HERE HE IS!!!

Everyone's expecting Hillary to take NY without much of a challenge, after all, she is our Senator. But when you work in an office that is full to the brim of die-hard democrats and even they say "what happened to what she promised us? look at our end of the state, the end she promised to bring 200,000 jobs to. what happened to her and what do you think she'll do on a national level?" Now, I'm quoting one specific co-worker who has a great sense of what's going on around him but he's right. And the other die-hards agreed. Buffalo is now the 2nd poorest city in the country. We've got our first ever mayor of African American decent and crime is on the rise in the city. We've got a First Lady turned Senator running our state and everything seems to be crashing down around us. I'm not against a woman being in the senate - hell, Ms. Richards was a kick-ass woman - but she stood up, did what needed to be done and said "sit down, shut up & do it" and look at her former state. Hillary can't do that for NY so why do we think she could do that for the country?

Now I can only speak on my experience in my state so don't everyone start jumping all over me. I just ask that we put aside the propaganda, take a deep breath and vote from the heart. My grandfather told me when I turned 18 - "You don't register to vote to be part of a political party, you register to vote so that you CAN vote. It doesn't matter what you do behind that curtain, it's the fact that you can be there."