RPCI & Me

Well, yesterday was the day. The day I was going to let total strangers stab me in both arms with what I was sure would be King Arthur's sword then syphen out my blood only to return kool-aid. I was terrified all day long, of course the sucking noises my co-workers made didn't help!! The bewitching hour of 5:00 arrives and mom & I are in the hospital hanging up our coat. Nurse Amanda tells me my hands are too cold and to run them under hot water. I'm looking around at 3 smiling nurses who's sunny demeaner looks hiddenly sinister. Are those recliners waving at me????? Nope, just nerves. The hot water felt good for about 10 seconds which is how long it took for me to remember the impending sword. I come back just to be told to sit down. She's gotta prick my finger (nerve endings folks!!!!) to test my levels. Surprisingly it didn't hurt..... but this is where the fun begins. First Nurse Amanda tells me that my blood is watery. Call me crazy but it's not pudding in my veins. Isn't blood supposed to be watery? Apparently not. Despite my watery blood I'm not bleeding fast enough for Nurse Amanda who's suddenly growing fangs. Whew! I made it through step one. Next comes the reading. Reading! Did I miss that there's a quiz????? I flip through what seems like pretty standard stuff and once done, Nurse Dee takes me to another room. Wait, all these arm waving beds and I have to go into another room? Must be the quiz portion of our entertainment. We start going through the 50 questions and I notice a pattern. About 30 of these questions involve sex. It's basically 30 different ways of asking if you're a dirty, drug using slut. (I can hear my cousin Corrie laughing at City Hall as she reads this) I put Nurse Dee's fears to rest and confirm I'm sweet as new fallen snow (Shut up Corrie). As she's entering my info into the computer my test results come up. The sunshine is gone as she asks "Are you feeling ok?" Aside from the nerves that are sure to make me vomit like Linda Blair? Sure, I feel great! Apparently all my levels were great except my white cell count. I was almost 6 points over their max. This means I've been rejected by the sword weilding nurses. Well, mom should be good and she can give. Nope! Her iron is too low and her blood pressure is too high, thanks to a glass of regular soda at lunch. So now we have to wait 2 weeks to see if we sprout colds or regain our iron levels. Well, at least it's not the Red Cross!! See ya later ladies!!!!